27 lines
1.2 KiB
Markdown
27 lines
1.2 KiB
Markdown
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---
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title: The void
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author: nek0
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tags: english
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description: What happened in the last half year
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---
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Hello folks. I am deeply sorry for not updating my blog for this long.
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As some of you might know, I struggle with depression. The last few months have
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been very hard for me, as my illness gets more active and unpredictable due to
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stress. And I feel more and more like I'm losing ground. Things I enjoyed doing
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in the past don't appeal to me anymore. I have trouble maintaining my sleep
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schedule. Everyday tasks are harder and harder to make and my thoughts venture
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more and more into darker places. These all and more are warning signs for a
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very serious depressive episode.
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It feels like nothing really changes. Every time I'm in clinical treatment, most
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recently in november, new problems become visible, but none of my complications
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ever get resolved. I'm on medication, which messes with my brain and has tons of
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side effects and yet it only keeps me barely functioning.
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I feel like a burden. Both socially on my friends and family but also on society
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as a whole. I don't dare to speak to my friends too much anymore, to not drag
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them down. Everyone has enough of his own problems. And somehow everyone gets
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his or her things done, except for me. I am useless.
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