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site/posts/2023-04-26-There-is-a-problem.md

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+---
+title: There is a problem
+author: nek0
+tags:
+- english
+- meta
+- projects
+- comic
+description: I made a very important realization very recently and I need to change things.
+---
+
+Hi there!
+
+It's surely been a while again since I posted something on my blog. I owe you an apology for that.
+I have had blog posts I want to write on my mind for some time now, but I never actually got to
+execute any of those ideas due to me being too busy.
+
+I am very busy. To name just a few of the things I do: I have work, I have my ongoing comic, I have
+ideas for further comics, I draw other stuff, I dabble in Haskell game development, I do photography
+and so on and so forth. I don't do these things all at once, but still it's a lot.
+
+Lately I've had problems drawing new pages for my ongoing comic. Not because I didn't enjoy thinking
+about it any more or I was fed up with the story or the characters. At first I thought it was
+because it was always the same project and I needed to spice my drawing time up a little with other
+drawings than the comic. But the problem is deeper.
+
+I have been struggling with mental health problems for more than half of my life now and all these
+projects on top of my regular dayjob are taking their toll, which I'm slowly beginning to feel.
+
+Over the course of the past years I somehow managed to un-learn a very important activity: I forgot
+how to relax. I can't remember when I last sat down with a good book or comic and read it for the
+sake of just reading it. The same goes for watching a movie or an episode of a series. I used to be
+playing video games.
+
+I didn't fully realize I had a problem until very recently, when a friend called me for emotional
+support. They told me they are about to burn out. During our conversation they told me some of
+the early warning signs they had experienced and I was immediately reminded of myself and the
+situation I am in at the moment.
+
+This warrants some changes I need to make to take proper care of myself. I want to re-learn how to
+relax and spend time "doing nothing" without havig a bad conscience. Since the amount of time in a
+day ora week is limited, this means I need to cut back on other activities in my free time, which
+has been mostly taken over by drawing and related activities. This does not mean I'm droppping
+drawing and my comic projects altogether, but there is a hiatus coming soon.
+
+On a technical side note: You might have noticed the new design of my blog. I overhauled it because
+I have grown increasingly discontent with the old design. I hope you like it. Let me know what you
+think.