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site/posts/2023-04-26-There-is-a-problem.md
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title: There is a problem
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author: nek0
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tags:
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- english
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- meta
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- projects
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- comic
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description: I made a very important realization very recently and I need to change things.
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---
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Hi there!
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It's surely been a while again since I posted something on my blog. I owe you an apology for that.
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I have had blog posts I want to write on my mind for some time now, but I never actually got to
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execute any of those ideas due to me being too busy.
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I am very busy. To name just a few of the things I do: I have work, I have my ongoing comic, I have
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ideas for further comics, I draw other stuff, I dabble in Haskell game development, I do photography
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and so on and so forth. I don't do these things all at once, but still it's a lot.
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Lately I've had problems drawing new pages for my ongoing comic. Not because I didn't enjoy thinking
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about it any more or I was fed up with the story or the characters. At first I thought it was
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because it was always the same project and I needed to spice my drawing time up a little with other
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drawings than the comic. But the problem is deeper.
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I have been struggling with mental health problems for more than half of my life now and all these
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projects on top of my regular dayjob are taking their toll, which I'm slowly beginning to feel.
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Over the course of the past years I somehow managed to un-learn a very important activity: I forgot
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how to relax. I can't remember when I last sat down with a good book or comic and read it for the
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sake of just reading it. The same goes for watching a movie or an episode of a series. I used to be
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playing video games.
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I didn't fully realize I had a problem until very recently, when a friend called me for emotional
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support. They told me they are about to burn out. During our conversation they told me some of
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the early warning signs they had experienced and I was immediately reminded of myself and the
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situation I am in at the moment.
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This warrants some changes I need to make to take proper care of myself. I want to re-learn how to
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relax and spend time "doing nothing" without havig a bad conscience. Since the amount of time in a
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day ora week is limited, this means I need to cut back on other activities in my free time, which
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has been mostly taken over by drawing and related activities. This does not mean I'm droppping
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drawing and my comic projects altogether, but there is a hiatus coming soon.
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On a technical side note: You might have noticed the new design of my blog. I overhauled it because
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I have grown increasingly discontent with the old design. I hope you like it. Let me know what you
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think.
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