diff --git a/site/posts/2023-04-26-There-is-a-problem.md b/site/posts/2023-04-26-There-is-a-problem.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..38c97ba --- /dev/null +++ b/site/posts/2023-04-26-There-is-a-problem.md @@ -0,0 +1,48 @@ +--- +title: There is a problem +author: nek0 +tags: +- english +- meta +- projects +- comic +description: I made a very important realization very recently and I need to change things. +--- + +Hi there! + +It's surely been a while again since I posted something on my blog. I owe you an apology for that. +I have had blog posts I want to write on my mind for some time now, but I never actually got to +execute any of those ideas due to me being too busy. + +I am very busy. To name just a few of the things I do: I have work, I have my ongoing comic, I have +ideas for further comics, I draw other stuff, I dabble in Haskell game development, I do photography +and so on and so forth. I don't do these things all at once, but still it's a lot. + +Lately I've had problems drawing new pages for my ongoing comic. Not because I didn't enjoy thinking +about it any more or I was fed up with the story or the characters. At first I thought it was +because it was always the same project and I needed to spice my drawing time up a little with other +drawings than the comic. But the problem is deeper. + +I have been struggling with mental health problems for more than half of my life now and all these +projects on top of my regular dayjob are taking their toll, which I'm slowly beginning to feel. + +Over the course of the past years I somehow managed to un-learn a very important activity: I forgot +how to relax. I can't remember when I last sat down with a good book or comic and read it for the +sake of just reading it. The same goes for watching a movie or an episode of a series. I used to be +playing video games. + +I didn't fully realize I had a problem until very recently, when a friend called me for emotional +support. They told me they are about to burn out. During our conversation they told me some of +the early warning signs they had experienced and I was immediately reminded of myself and the +situation I am in at the moment. + +This warrants some changes I need to make to take proper care of myself. I want to re-learn how to +relax and spend time "doing nothing" without havig a bad conscience. Since the amount of time in a +day ora week is limited, this means I need to cut back on other activities in my free time, which +has been mostly taken over by drawing and related activities. This does not mean I'm droppping +drawing and my comic projects altogether, but there is a hiatus coming soon. + +On a technical side note: You might have noticed the new design of my blog. I overhauled it because +I have grown increasingly discontent with the old design. I hope you like it. Let me know what you +think.