blog.nek0.eu/site/posts/2023-04-26-There-is-a-problem.md
2023-05-01 15:16:15 +02:00

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There is a problem nek0
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I made a very important realization very recently and I need to change things.

Hi there!

It's surely been a while again since I posted something on my blog. I owe you an apology for that. I have had blog posts I want to write on my mind for some time now, but I never actually got to execute any of those ideas due to me being too busy.

I am very busy. To name just a few of the things I do: I have work, I have my ongoing comic, I have ideas for further comics, I draw other stuff, I dabble in Haskell game development, I do photography and so on and so forth. I don't do these things all at once, but still it's a lot.

Lately I've had problems drawing new pages for my ongoing comic. Not because I didn't enjoy thinking about it any more or I was fed up with the story or the characters. At first I thought it was because it was always the same project and I needed to spice my drawing time up a little with other drawings than the comic. But the problem is deeper.

I have been struggling with mental health problems for more than half of my life now and all these projects on top of my regular dayjob are taking their toll, which I'm slowly beginning to feel.

Over the course of the past years I somehow managed to un-learn a very important activity: I forgot how to relax. I can't remember when I last sat down with a good book or comic and read it for the sake of just reading it. The same goes for watching a movie or an episode of a series. I used to be playing video games.

I didn't fully realize I had a problem until very recently, when a friend called me for emotional support. They told me they are about to burn out. During our conversation they told me some of the early warning signs they had experienced and I was immediately reminded of myself and the situation I am in at the moment.

This warrants some changes I need to make to take proper care of myself. I want to re-learn how to relax and spend time "doing nothing" without havig a bad conscience. Since the amount of time in a day or a week is limited, this means I need to cut back on other activities in my free time, which has been mostly taken over by drawing and related activities. This does not mean I'm droppping drawing and my comic projects altogether, but there is a hiatus coming soon.

On a technical side note: You might have noticed the new design of my blog. I overhauled it because I have grown increasingly discontent with the old design. I hope you like it. Let me know what you think.